TY for the comment and the question!

How my parents told us that they were into BDSM was in a couple of conversations.  Growing up as a kid, my parents would go out to parties on the weekend.  I can remember my mom dressing for parties, and I do remember being around 9 and hearing my sister say something about birth control.  Growing up as a Catholic, I can remember my parents explaining why they used birth control.  At no times were any of these parties at our house.  When I was 11, we had a sit down family meeting where my parents explained the “swinger” thing very openly and honestly.  The catalyst for this meeting was because my oldest brother, who at the time was 17, had gotten into a fight with a guy who said that my mom was a whore.  Long story short, my parents had been swinging with his parents, and the guy had over heard something said in his house. 

My parents sat us all down around the dining room table.  They explained the whole thing about their sex life outside of the house.  Yes, I might have been too young in age but as everyone will tell you, I was an old soul growing up.  I was very world wise, and very interested in everything.  lol  My main memory of the meeting is that my sister Terri was not happy that my mom had slept with other men.  It was kinda of funny, my parents trying to tell us kids that we should wait until we are 18 before we became sluts basically.  I do remember Terri saying something like that to my parents, and Jazzy and I laughing.  My oldest brother did not handle it well either, at the time he had a Oedipus thing for my mom.

When I was 13, the BDSM part came up in a family talk.  I think it was the third major conversation / family meeting we had on my parent’s sexuality.  The meeting had come up because my dad just wanted us to all know what was going on.  There are three distinct memories I have of the meeting.  The first was hearing the world sadism.  I thought my parents were worshipping the devil at first.  The second part was that I did not understand why anyone would want to be whipped.  The third thing was watching my mom watching T2 and I.  She was very concerned that she would lose the mother daughter connection between us, and in a sense she did.  First with T2 to a degree, then a few years with me, and our separation was ugly.  After the meeting, I remember T2 and my mom crying, and I was sitting with them still wonder about whips, and if my mom had one, and if she was going to use it on me.

My only advice for parents when talking with the kids is that honesty works, it is difficult and uncomfortable.  It is the right thing to do when it is the right time.  Hiding it, never works.  Kids see everything.

Hopefully I answered your question – tc ADH!