Right now I am sitting outside of the Rose Bowl, inside of Jazzy’s RV that Derm and Big Bird drove down two days ago…  Game time is still 5 hours away…  It is freezing outside.  Why in the fuck did we get here so early?  It has been a whirlwind that last 20 plus hours.   New Year’s Eve is always weird… always some weird shit…  I should never go out… and if I ever hear “you and me babe” I am going to fucking go crazy…  my girls though are keeping me from going insane… luv them!

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T2 drove Keiki, Jazzy, and me up to the city – and it was a rather weird energy vibe.  T2 wasn’t completely happy about Jazzy and Keiki going out but she wasn’t going to stop it.   Keiki was feeling a little weird – she admitted it to me.  She doesn’t like it when T2 is not super happy with her.  T2 is the only person that Keiki worries about – they have such a co-dependent relationship.  I think they would be lovers if they were brave enough.  (Yeah I said it!)  With that weirdness surrounding them – T2 decided to take Keiki and Jazzy directly to their hotel.  I on the other had had an afternoon cocktail social to attend. I was glad to get out of the car – wow – weird energy people! 

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Monday December 31, 2012 – 8 am – Last Day of the Year! – 33 degrees outside – but sunny…

Last night was fun and then it got weird…  LOL  I can tell I am back home – woot!

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Cal picked me up right at 7 pm on the clock.  I swear he must park somewhere else and wait for the exact time.  He is amazing about arriving on time always.  I kind of like it.  I am weird about time.  I really like people that are on time. 

AND yes, I know time is just a perception…  at times…  it is also a measurement…  and time does pass bye…

I was dressed to impress and I got the Cal smile… but he impressed me more.  We were really into each other – lust mixed with true missing of each other…  (rolls eyes) Cal  told me that he wanted to change plans and instead take me out for dinner then we were going up to XXXXXX (I can’t name it) for some adult fun just between us.  Fuck yeah!  I was so happy.  I started jumping up and down which got Mr. Posey all excited.  I suddenly became Cal’s total fuck toy… and I told him that he did not even have to take me to dinner –he could do whatever he wanted to me….

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My dad is real big on all of us doing yearly reviews.   Starting at the age of 10, every kid in my family is required to complete this task. Our task is to write down a list of 20 things, events or people that we thought were important in the year to us, plus a list of goals for the upcoming year.  Making a yearly list has become second nature to me, as well as for my brothers and sisters.  Last year for the first time, I shared my review list with all of you.  I don’t share the goals, most of them are private.  Here is what I gave to my dad (he makes the point that the exercise is personal).

Whereas 2011 was a year of transition, 2012 can be looked at as the year that ADH 2.0 emerged.  In many respects, I feel this year was the year I grew up out of the bat shit crazy phase of my life.  My DID (personality disorder) is under control for the most part and I understand my pain needs and how to control them and I am happier with myself than I have ever been.  I am making huge progress in my professional life. 

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And it is over…  poof…  another chapter closed…

It is just past 5 pm here in Santa Cruz.  Sunday Night.  Right now I am sitting in my lovely kitchen… it feels so good to be back at home.   I admit I cried a few times today – hormonal neurotic bitch…

Yesterday seemed bitter sweet…  Uncle Case was a wreck… he decided not to go with San Jose with us.  He said it was too hard.  My sisters, Cousin K, and I took him out to the waves and the six of us held hands.  We each took turns telling Uncle Case how important he was to us and how much we love him.  It was important that he hear from us – each of us.  He is such a sweet man.

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Landed and did customs and waiting to load into vans for the ride home to Santa Cruz.  Cold.  Wet.  Dark.  Already missing hot Costa Rica.  LOL  but it is good to be almost home!

Saturday, December 29, 2012 – Last day in Costa Rica – 11:30 am. 

Thought for the Day:  Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life you have imagined. - Henry David Thoreau

Yesterday I spent the morning reading Thoreau.  I thought I should read some since my uncle is a classic Thoreau man and he has a huge collection.  Thoreau’s’ ideas are partly why Uncle Case moved to Costa Rica; to what is the edge of the world for him.  His house faces the Pacific Ocean on one side and Mango forest on the other side.  Beautiful peaceful place.

He told me this Thoreau quote when explaining his life:

I went to the woods because I wished to live deliberately, to front only the essential facts of life, and see if I could not learn what it had to teach, and not, when I came to die, discover that I had not lived.

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—- Something that I worked on today – just a slice of life thing from my past —-

At the start of my senior year in high school, my reputation at school all depended on which social circle you talked to.  Among the jocks and the jock-sniffers, I was just this weird brain arts chick that happened to be a cheerleader.  I was the youngest sister of two of the schools best athletes that had graduated and my older sisters had been homecoming queen, cheerleader and class president.  I did not fit in with them.  Among the geeks and nerds, I was this cheerleader that just happened to be ranked in the top 1% of my class yet none of them talked to me.  They thought of me as being in the social jock clique.  Among the drama and artist kids, I was this cheerleader brain that was weird even for them.  Among the stoners, I was this weird cheerleader brain chick.  I just did not fit in, nor did I care too.  I actually was pretty happy in my little bubble of a world.

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Friday, December 28, 2012 – 7 am - Last full day here at the beach house… time flies.

Thought for the Day:  “It is by no means an irrational fancy that, in a future existence, we shall look upon what we think our present existence, as a dream.”
― Edgar Allan Poe

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Random mumbles today… bit swirly in my brain.

Loved our surf session at Playa Grande yesterday morning…  but my body is so beat up right now from surfing…  my hair looks like shit…  my toes look like shit…  my tan is covering aching muscles…   I am raw… but gawd I am so fucking happy with how much surfing I got in on this trip!

One of my bikinis went missing…  I have no idea what I did with it… no really.  Kind of freaking me out…

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Right now it is 6:30 am, December 27 – a Thursday in Costa Rica… our final Thursday…  Yesterday was a day that went by way too quickly… this whole trip is going past too quickly…

My Thought of the Day:  Sad about the turtles…

My Other Thought of the Day:  The little ones have been amazing on this trip. 

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A few of us got up real early – like 6 am – and went for two hours of ocean kayaking.  Then we raced back to the house for another 4F adventure.  When we got back Cousin Kate and her meat-head boy-toy, er I mean Russ in time to see them off.  Uncle Case drove them over to Liberia for their flight.

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Wednesday, December 26, 2012 – 6 am

Last night after I posted, I went out to the back yard to enjoy the moon and stars.  It was slightly chilly – the temp was in the 60s.  I couldn’t sleep.  My mind was racing and part of me was trying to calm my inner needs.  I really wanted to go out and fight and fuck.   I saw Aunty D heading next door.  She was off to another one of her surfer boy nights.  The guys next door are getting so much sex between Aunty D and Cousin K that they aren’t even sniffing up on me.  In fact, the model that was hitting on me a few nights ago has now been fucked by Jazzy and Aunty D – my relatives are taking my sex!  It is starting to kill me!

I must have been out there about 10 minutes when I was joined by a man.  For a house devoid of males, with only Jazzy, Uncle Case and JT here, for a man to join me was unusual and in a way real bad timing last night.  I was in one of my moods.  If it had been Jazzy, I wouldn’t have worried.  If it was Uncle Case, I would have been able to stop.  But it was Cousin JT.  My inner slut was at full hormonal boiling. 

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10 pm Christmas Day – December 25, 2012 – the house is dead quiet…  people crashed early tonight…  To those of you that celebrate Christmas – Happy Happy Joy Joy – for the rest of us…  do did ya get drunk today????    (rolls eyes)

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Monday the 24th was busy… early morning surf session  at Playa Avellanas then time for a surprise… T2 and my mom had sworn me to secrecy…  Our Second Cousins had flown in for a commitment ceremony….   They were renewing their original 1982 Christmas Eve Commitment vows, now 30 years later.  It is on my mom’s side, the first “out” lesbians in our family.  They still can’t get legally married in California… fucking shame…   My sister had talked them into coming down for a week and doing the ceremony.  It was beautiful…. The ceremony was a little up north from the house… our whole group…  Uncle Case and my mom conducted the services.  The three little girls were the flower chuckers and the guys were drum beaters. It was a rather rowdy ceremony which included the dunking of everyone in the ocean…   Afterwards we took over a small place for a huge afternoon party that ended up stretching a little later than we expected – everyone was dancing….  The 30 year veterans of relationships had a great time…   we all ended up back at the house last night… bonfire… laughs… love

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This will be quick!

A whole group of us went dancing again Saturday night.  Bella loves being able to go out dancing with all of us.  She had a great time and lots of male attention which she likes.  Don’t we all…  In fact the whole group was just so much fun.  I haven’t seen CS laughing so hard ever.  May and Star were killing me.  It was the best night of dancing so far on the trip.  We spent part of the night at the Monkey and the end of it at Aqua which is a more traditional dance place.

I walked into the house late, escorting my mini-me Bella arm in arm – we both were babbling – happy – laughing - it must have been around 1 am.  CS, HE, Cousin BB, Star, May and Cousin JT were just ahead of us laughing.  We walked in – and I hear CS yell “Holy Shit!”

The whole house was all decorated for Christmas…  oh great….

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My code monkeys are very precious to me despite their complete lack of social graces or manners.  There is a certain joy about them.  They are all so happy with their computers and games and their geek toys.  As a “pretty girl” when I talk to them they get all goofy.  It is very entertaining.

Here in Costa Rica, around my uncle’s land here there are monkeys.  At first I only saw one or two but now I am learning how to spot them.  They are very precious and very cute.  Weird thing is that they have total social graces but their manners remind me of the Code Monkeys.  When I talk to these monkeys, they get goofy.  I don’t think it is because I am pretty.  It is because I am a human…  It is very entertaining. 

I love fire!  I get scared of fire spinners…

Great time Friday night at the Monkey…  You could see a lot of new faces in town for the holidays.  We had a blast – watched some dudes spin fire…  One of the models got a little frisky with me… oh yeah!   I still got it!  Our little posse of the Booty Bunch and the Surfer Crew has morphed into the Sweet Surfers Swagers.  All in all it was a good time.  The night was a little ruined by an incident.  (1) 

pretty freaking cool tan line eh :)

Early Saturday morning we said our goodbyes to the L’s – Uncle L, Aunty L, and their two sweet daughters.  They were starting the journey back to the ranch in Los Olivos.  They should be back in the states on the 24th in time for the holidays.  Jazzy drove them over to Liberia to catch a puddle jumper to San Jose.  Mom had tears…  Mom and Aunty H went for a walk…

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Once again it is time for the best of Mail Bag - some of the best messages from FetLife and Social Sex - I should really be calling this post Male Bagging… so many idiots out there…  I am letting Star pick out a few of them today… She is having way too much fun.

Message #1

I was thinking that your pussy must be stretched out and all gross.  No wonder you are fucked up in the head. 

Message #2A

Hi there my name is SXXXXXX and I am very interested in meeting and maybe having some fun together. I know there is not a lot to my profile but here is a little about myself; I’m a married man that is looking for a woman like you. I have money and I am willing to set you up in an apartment close to where I live which is in Palo Alto.  In exchange for the free rent, I would expect two dates a week which would include sex.  We can discuss the particulars at a later date.  If you are interested, please get back to me,

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